In the past 24 hours I have looked at my daughter and wondered if this would be the last time I would see her laugh/smile/cry... Every single thing she has done, whether it has been adorable or frustrating, I have mentally taken it and tucked it tenderly into a tiny envelope in my brain and I'm holding onto it very tightly...just in case. Just in case.
Everyone keeps telling me that everything will be fine, and while I'm glad that they all know that things will be great...I don't know this, and more importantly, I don't feel this. With Noelle's past 2 surgeries, I felt fine. I felt at ease. I was really pretty mellow about the whole thing, this time around, I'm freaking the hell out.
For what it's worth, I've done my research. I know my information, I'm well informed. I don't have any questions. I love our surgeon. I have faith in him.
I think this is normal.
Tomorrow, at 8am, my child, will have her third surgery. There's nothing that I can do to protect her. I can only pray that God will be watching over her and that he will keep her in his loving arms, that he will protect her, until I can have her back in mine...
Please, Please, keep all of us in your prayers tomorrow. I will update as soon as we have any information...