I'd say the only place we feel most comfortable, is at home. We can really be free to be ourselves, act anyway we want, say anything we like, and do anything we choose. Once we leave the safety our homes behind, it seems that all bets would be off. We would really need to be aware of how we handled ourselves in every situation of our lives.
There are tons of times during the day where it would be so much easier to just throw my hands up in the air, toss a couple profanities into the wind, and go about my day. I think we all know how that would be perceived though. I would seem crazy... Or craziER. So for the sake of appearances, I keep my words to myself, my hands in my pockets, and I keep on trudging.
I wonder a lot of the times... What about the people who choose NOT to keep their words to themselves, and their hands in their pockets? What makes them do what they do? Why do they think it's OK? And more importantly, why do they think I want to hear it?
In my teens, twenties, and even in the past few years, foul language was something that I used often... And freely. In the past year or so, I've made changes to "censor" myself. It's a personal thing... I have kids now, and I just don't feel like I should be standing around cursing. It's my choice. I also have made the active choice to not use the word "retarded". This wasn't a word that I chose to use to describe someone with disabilities, this was a word that I used as slang. A word that put emphasis on just how stupid something, or someone was. ie: That movie was really retarded. Having two kids now, who have been referred to as retarded... I never want to say that word again... It kind of makes me vomit a little in my mouth. Another favorite of mine? "Gay"... I love to talk about just how "gay" something is. Again, by gay I mean stupid, silly, nonsensical. I have two incredibly close friends who are living an alternative lifestyle. For me to sit here and refer to people, things, etc as "gay"? It's just not right.
Censorship is all around me right now. I feel like I do watch what I say, making sure not to hurt feelings or step on toes. Perhaps too much sometimes...
I want to know though, where is everyone else's censor? After being at a party this past weekend, and having an incredibly ignorant woman call Jack retarded. All because he was having a "moment" and was choosing to flail around on the floor as opposed to choosing eat... I wonder where she learned that it was not only OK to speak like that about young children, but also to speak about them, right in front of them. Where was her censor? Of course this was the same woman who while I was pregnant with the Triplets, she asked me if I was going to keep all of them. As if they were a set to be divvied up amongst family. Perhaps she really is just that ignorant...
I know that this isn't the first time I've come across the one rude person in a crowd of many... They're out there. So I ask this of all of you, am I the only one making an effort? Am I trying too hard? Or am I possibly just being too aware of a situation? How about you? Do you censor yourself?