My Brain Hurts.

And I'm just guessing here, but I bet Jack's does too.

For those of you who are new here, or who don't know me IRL. My name is Jessica, and I have a brain tumor. No big deal, honestly. I swear. Ok, so maybe it's a teensy weensy big deal. But to me, I've had it now since half way thru 2001. While it absolutely changed my life, I wouldn't want my experience to go away for anything.  - that my friends is a post for another day-
I have had my tumor, whom I fondly refer to as Fred, since '01. I named him after the man who discovered him. Seems only fair right? I mean the straits of Magellan didn't get their name for nothing... Anyway, Fred and I go way back... But he and I have a very love hate relationship. While I am not so much attached to him, he is incredibly attached to me... So much so that he's attached to my brain stem. Let's just say he really likes me. He causes me to have seizures (we think it's his fault, as the seizures began shortly after we noticed he existed) and I take medicine to control them. I have had two brain surgeries to explore the area to make sure that all is well and happy with Fred. A guy named Bob at MGH did my surgery. I was awake during my first surgery... But I was also pretty asleep. In any regard, I told the anesthesiologist (who was supposed to be keeping me calm) about my deep dark love for Dr. Bob. It was at that point that my Anesthesia MD mentioned to me, that Dr. Bob could hear everything I was saying... As he was (pointing to my brain) um, right there. Yeah...turns out even when someone is operating on your skull you can still blush. Interesting.

Anyway...Where am I going with all of this you ask?

Yesterday, Jack was acting odd. He woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I wrote it off to him not sleeping well, and hoped that the day would get a bit better... It didn't. His teachers arrived at 830a and at 845a I went down to check and make sure he was doing OK. It was then that they mentioned that he was a bit spacey, unlike anything they had ever seen with him before. Not responding to his name, not looking at them, not at all being his normal silly self. I stayed around for a bit, and caught a brief "spell"... Intrigued, we all chatted for a few minutes while Jack ran off to go upstairs with his siblings. After his teachers had left, I played one on one with Jack for a bit, observing a few more of these episodes... Definitely not normal for him. I was wondering what was going on, but not too concerned. He had no fever, he wasn't crying, not in any sign of obvious distress... What could be wrong? I went upstairs to the girls room to sort some clothes, and Wilciara yelled up to me that something was wrong with Jack. It took me a minute to run down all the way to the basement... Upon finding him, he was clearly in a state of confusion... Drooling, eyes locked, frozen in place. A cookie hanging partially out of his mouth. It was definitely concerning. He was having no tremors, or anything like that, but he was clearly having a seizure. And the most bothersome thing, was that this was clearly the 5th one that he had today. After he had recovered from that last episode, I called our pediatrician, who was unfortunately not in the office. I was directly routed to our secondary peed. It was very relieving to speak to someone who knew us, and to have him talk me down from this small wall that I had pretty quickly climbed up on top of. He felt that it would be a fine idea to take a quick look at him, and to bring him over right away.

Long story even longer, we're now 24 hours past the initial episode and we're really no closer now to figuring out what was causing all of it than we were yesterday. The great news is that today, we've been completely episode free. I haven't seen anything that was similar to yesterday's events and that makes me feel...confused and relieved all at the same time. I'm sure you can understand that.

We'll be handling this situation with kid gloves, and trying so hard to pinpoint what it might be that's causing Jack's body to react in this way. I pray that our road upcoming is unremarkable, and easy. I keep trying to remind myself that sometimes people just have seizures... It doesn't always mean that something is terribly wrong.

Comments

[katie K-H]

Jessica~

I hope the appointments are going well and that you are closer to figuring out what is going on with your sweet Jack. I also hope that he has been feeling well and hasn't had anymore seizures. Your strength, optimism, and sense of peace is truly amazing. I really enjoyed chatting with you at the grocery store the other day, and I would love to spend more time visiting with you and your beautiful children. One day this summer....As always, your family is in my heart and prayers.

Love~Katie K-H

[girl]

I'm just getting caught up. We're thinking about you all and praying for you... many hugs and all that warm fuzzy goodness.

[Heather]

Good grief! You can't catch a break, can you? I hope that it's nothing serious for Jack and that, whatever it is, they figure it out soon!

[rachael schirano]

i will be keeping you guys in my prayers, especially jack. that is incredibly scary, but i am hoping that it turns out to be nothing since he has not had any further incidences. sending hugs!

[Colleen]

Wow. that's so scary. I hope it turns out to be minor. Maybe he bumped his head?

[stefanie]

omg.. how scary!! I'll be thinking of you and him and praying everything is ok.

When Chase had his febrile seizure it was the most terrifying thing i've ever been through to date!

I know you and you will get to the bottom of this quickly..

i miss you tons and I hope my life can resume to some normalcy soon so we can chat!

[Rachel]

Oh Jess...I'm so sorry that you are going through this. My oldest daughter had a pretty serious seizure when she was a year old...at the mall of all places. Scary. I will be praying hard for you and Jack and the rest of your family!

[Unc Chuck]

Jess, I’m flabbergasted. I read your post with my chin on my lap. The entire Redden family is at the top of my prayer list already but it seems I’m going to have to start shouting when I pray! I love and miss you guys so very much and I wish I could see you more often. Please know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

[Tammie]

No more!!! You and your family are allowed no more medical issues. No more. So there. He's fine because thats the only way it can be. No more, do you hear? NO MORE!

[Kelly]

OMG Jess. How scary. You all are in our prayers. I'm praying, praying it is nothing and never happens again.

[Lindsey]

Oh dear! I'm glad today was better, but goodness that must have been frightening. I'd have jumped up on that wall as quickly as you did, and I'm not sure if I would have been willing to come back down anytime soon. Keeping you guys in my thoughts.

[Barron Triplets]

I've had seizures since I was five years old. After many many doctors appointments, they still don't know what causes them. Like you said, sometimes people just have seizures. I'm perfectly healthy with three great kids and one on the way. I'll be praying for Jack.

[pam]

that is so scary! am keeping your little jack in my thoughts.

[Kelly A]

If you guys need ANYTHING please give me a call. I hope they are able to figure out whats going on and that Jack is doing much better.

[Rachel]

I am so sorry yesterday was so scary. Here's hoping that you can figure out the explanation soon and it's nothing serious.

[Elizabeth]

Thinking of you, as always!

[Laura]

How frightening. I am glad no incidents since, but hopefully someone out here in blog land will be able to point you in a direction through similar circumstance.
I will include you all in my prayers tonight.

[Kelli]

oh, Jessica, I am so sorry....I will keep you all in my prayers, I am sending HUGE hugs your way, and like the pp said, I admire you so much!!!!!!!!

Love, Kelli

[Joyce T.]

Hi, Jessica,
Did I ever tell you that my (half?) identical twin girls (now 23 years old) have two hereditary forms of epilepsy? The neurologist told us it has nothing to do with "twinness" or birth trauma of any kind, but is hereditary. If we could do EEGs on ancestors, we could find out where this came from, but other than that, we don't have a clue. It's a LONG story, but both girls are doing great.

Did I ever tell you how much I admire your great attitude? I think that keeps you so healthy and strong. You rock, Girl. :)

[Melting Mama]

((Jessica.))

[K]

I'll be keeping you guys in my prayers.