My Five Little Monkeys

Your Crib Or Mine?

Three months shy of their Fourth birthday, my girls were still sleeping their nights away in the same beds that they slept in the night we brought them home from the hospital. We've had more than a few people raise a curious eyebrow at Jon and myself when we tell folks that the girls are still in cribs at nearly 4 years old. Looking back however, I realized that we made this move with William nearly one year ago. Then of course moved the boys to their own bed shortly after. We didn't rush it with the boys, and we didn't rush it with the girls... I think this kind of goes along with so many other things that we've done with our kids. The idea of not rushing things, taking each day as it comes, not letting what everyone else is doing dictate what may or may not be best for OUR kids. 

Noelle & Lilley have been happy in their cribs, but at the same time have been more aware of what the boys have been sleeping in. We've taken notice of them being able to sleep in a big bed while on vacation or at a Grandparents home. Jon and I no longer felt that they "needed" to be in their cribs... This past weekend Jon's parents took the boys to their house for the night for a sleepover. This ended up being a perfect night for a sleepover in the boys bedroom. The girls picked out special pajamas and camped out in the boys beds. They loved having their freedom, and the ability to get up when they wanted to... We gave them some rules to follow and decided that if they followed the rules we would go ahead and break down their cribs. Along came Saturday morning, and we had two very well rested, very happy little girls. They ended up even napping in there later on in the day...

Sunday afternoon after church, Jon and I slowly took apart those last two cribs... I stood there sort of supervising, sort of reminiscing, sort of weeping. I really couldn't believe it was over. I couldn't believe that my babies were growing up. I believed it more however, when Jon and I pushed the two toddler beds into their room. After I primped and fluffed. After I felt like everything was in order we had them come up... It was kind of like I was having a surprise party for them. Here I was sitting behind the door, poised with my camera. There they were, ready to pounce.

The looks on their faces were amazing... This is what makes waiting worth it. If we had changed their rooms over when they were two years old, they really wouldn't have been able to appreciate this... And let me tell you, they appreciate it, and they love it...

The Calm After The Storm.

I think that's how the saying goes right? The calm AFTER the storm. Maybe it's the calm before the storm... I think maybe it can go either way though right? In my life right now though, we've got this blissful calm after the storm.

I mentioned a week or so ago about Evan and his outrageous behavior. I don't think that words could really express how awful our child was being. It seemed that everyday we would wake up with the hopes that today would be a better day, only to find out that in fact today was just going to be a WORSE day. There really is no worse feeling. I scratched my head so many times wondering if this was ever going to end, and if I could possibly have been wrong. If maybe this wasn't just a temporary adjustment period, but more of a long term behavioral issue that we were going to have to deal with. I chatted with his wonderful teachers about ways that we could attempt to combat these negative behaviors, and possibly redirect him... Alas it felt that every time we approached him with a tactic that "should" work, we were met head on with Evan's strong will and determination to do something on HIS agenda. Needless to say, Evan was quickly becoming the epitome of my "strong willed" child.

For the past 3 and half years I have relied on help from others to raise our kids. Whether this was our parents, or some kind of live-in help, we've always had people to depend on. This scenario ended up being a double edged sword. While I was always so thankful for the help in the here and now, there was really something to be said for figuring it out and doing it on my own. I don't feel that this was as much of an option when the children were infants, or when Noelle was in the hospital. I think that those times in our lives, were simply fight or flight... There was no "better situation", what we had, was what we had... It was simply the best for that time in our life. Now however, I look back on the past 2 years and scratch my head. I don't have any regrets, I'm very proud of who my children are and who they've become. I do however wonder if I could've known them better. If I could've taken more time to figure out the issues. If there was more to the problems than met the eye, and if I could've gotten it resolved more quickly had I been the one taking care of them 24/7.

This brings us to this most recent development in Evan's life. As most of you know, Evan was completely non-verbal until the age of 3.5. At that time we started hearing mild babbling and random piecings together of things that reminded us of words. Now at the ripe old age of 4.5, Evan is clearly speaking. He has the verbal skills of about a 2 year old. He understands things far better than that of a 2 year old, but still his communication skills are low. So you can imagine that everyday things change, he's constantly evolving. It's actually a totally amazing thing... Instead of being able to rejoice in the first few words that Evan has said, we have been literally rejoicing over every word that he says. That, I think, is one of the big differences between typical kids, and kids with autism. Celebrating the little things... So with Evan, his recent frustrations were stemming from his need to speak... Knowing what it was that he wanted to say, and being completely unable to articulate it in the manner that he needed to. Now after being patient and waiting for him, he's able to say things like "Mommy! I've missed you!", "More water please!", and "No, not yet!"... All of these things are such huge steps in the right direction... Needless to say, the patience that I had this time around totally paid off. Evan is so so enjoyable now... He's joyful, he's patient, and best of all he listens!

Now Jack? He's a WHOLE other story... ;)

Rooms At The Inn.

Let me start by telling you something you probably already knew. My boys? They're Triplets. They shared a womb, they shared a crib, they shared bottles, clothes, binkies, infections... They shared it all. The thoughts of separating them at any point in time kind of saddens me. By separating them, I mean keeping them apart and giving any one of them special treatment over another one.

I kind of started "separating them" a few years back when I put William in a local preschool, and I didn't enroll Evan or Jack. That seemed to sit more comfortably with me though, since I knew that they just weren't ready for that sort of atmosphere just yet. As soon as I was able to have them all in the same space again, I really felt that I jumped at the opportunity. We're now encountering this again with homeschooling William, and sending the other two boys off to public schools. Separation right? Again, it seems justifiable because I just can't keep Evan & Jack home. I wouldn't be doing them any good... They need to be educated in a way that I just can't provide.

What about at home though? At some point I know that I realized that we were raising three very different children. That while they were triplets, they really did need things of their "own". That sometimes making the assumption that they would all need, or more importantly want the same thing was kind of irrational. Quite possibly, my thinking was a little selfish. I was thinking this was a lot of times out of convenience. I mean, it's certainly a lot easier to have a cabinet full of one type of bottle as opposed to trying to keep things separated for three kids. I did that out of convenience for myself...

So now, my boys who shared my womb, quite possibly need separate rooms. Evan & Jack need to go to bed a bit earlier in the evening (around 645p) and they tend to sleep a bit later. If they aren't disrupted, they are able to sit and play nicely in their room for an extended period of time without complaining, unless of course they have a need for something. We have realized however, that when William is in the room, things are far less smooth. William tends to want to stay up just a little later at night, and seems to wake up at the BUTT CRACK OF DAWN. The bedtime, isn't as much of an issue... It's the wake time... Oh my goodness. As soon as he wakes up, he is banging on the door trying to get out. Yelling that he needs to go potty, pretty much doing anything in order to get OUT of the room. This behavior led to William sleeping in our room for a number of months... As you can imagine, a 4 year old in your room isn't really the coolest thing in the world. So we tried to slowly wean him back into his space... It didn't go well. Waking early, and needing to get out was a constant issue. For whatever reason, Jon ended up putting William in our guest bedroom one night two weeks ago. He has never gone back to his room, he's now calling the guest room "his room" and asking if he ever has to go back to "brothers room".

This is where I'm torn. I don't want to give him his own space... I don't want to lose my guest room... I don't want him away from his brothers... I don't, I don't, I don't... But, what about William? What about Evan & Jack? It's not really about me is it?

Ch-Ch-Changes...

Hi there, long time no see huh? Did you forget about me? In all honesty, I totally forgot about you... Things here, as usual have been busy. In fact they've been so busy that at times I wonder where literal weeks have gone. I've reported them missing, but alas it seems to be a common issue amongst fellow Mom's. You've heard it all before, not enough hours in the day and that sort of thing.

Enough excuses though, how about the kids! I'm reeling over the fact that in less than 2 months my boys will be 5 years old. FIVE. F-I-V-E. It really makes my head spin... I can't believe that we've come so far! Things have changed SO much... It's totally amazing. Then there's the girls, nearly FOUR! Holy mackeral... It's insane isn't it? I swear to you all I just gave birth to them... Of course I feel like I'm still holding onto their baby days, feeling like they're just slipping out of my hands all too quickly.

We have made some pretty big changes around our house as well. We made a big decision to let our Au Pair Adriana go. She should have been here until the middle of this month, but back around Christmas I made the executive decision that the money that we were spending was just not weighing out... As much as I adored having her here, it seemed so much more financially responsible to let her go and for us to care for our children ourselves. (What a concept right!?) The change finally took place last month, and it has been awesome... I totally adore having my kids all to myself, and have loved getting back into the parenting routine. There have been moments where I have wished that someone was here to help me, but that was usually when my awesome Father in Law Danny would magically show up... Or when Jon would come home from work with a pizza for dinner. I can honestly say that my house is ten times dirtier, there's far more laundry, and Jon and I don't eat nearly as many home cooked meals as we used to... But the time that I'm getting with my kids now is priceless and totally worth every dirty dish in the sink.

Jon and I have been so busy over the past few months with the change in childcare, we have been working really hard just to keep our heads above water at times and keep our focus where it really should be. Jon has been working incredibly hard at a project based in California and has been putting in long hours, as well as many business trips to the area. It's been stressful, but knowing that it will soon come to an end is awesome. It's great also, that it will be ending just as our weather is improving! 

All five of the kids are still in our local preschool program and loving every minute of it. It seems that they're really excelling and learning more and more. I can't tell you how impressed I've been with the school system and the teachers... The boys are due to enter Kindergarten in the fall and we've decided to go ahead and send Evan and Jack to the public schools. William is going to stay home with me where we plan on homeschooling him. I would love to keep E&J home as well, but I really know that at this point I'm not equipped to provide a full spectrum of therapies for them. Especially not at the level that the schools can provide.

Evan and Jack have progressed by leaps and bounds this year... Evan is currently reading at what we know to be a 4th grade level. He enjoys chapter books, as well as books with few pictures and enormous amounts of information on a page. His favorite books are the World Almanac for Kids as well as an Atlas of the world that was given to us by our friend Nita. His most recent fascination has been learning all the world continents, countries, and capitals. He's fascinated by animals and can name some of even the most obscure just by sight. He recently went through a three week behavioral period where things were just difficult for him. He was having a rough time just getting thru the day to day. It seemed that everything was a constant battle... When things get like that for him, it's typically an indicator that something is happening. Sometimes he's getting a cold, or something is bothering him, or sometimes it's an indicator of things to come. I usually am able to take heart in the fact though that this is not a permanent behavior. That this too shall pass... And like all other times, this too passed... This time, his behavior was linked to a language explosion. Evan was struggling to communicate with us, and with the world around him. I was finally able to pinpoint the root of some of his frustration and help him to articulate his  issues. Since Evan is currently able to express most of his wants and needs, this was a bit confusing to me. It turned out that this time, Evan was having a truly difficult time expressing emotion. He was saying "No" to pretty much anything and everything that was requested of him. He also became very fond of the phrase "go away". Obviously these are both totally negative, and aren't very friendly phrases. They also get WICKED old after hearing them 80 times in an hour. I was able to help Evan understand, that he had more option than just NO, and that Go Away wasn't nice. He now understands the proper use and the appropriate timing for both. Luckily we're also hearing a lot of, I'm so sorry, I'm mad, excuse me, and I love you. I think that's a pretty fair balance. Evan has also been working so hard at potty training... Actually scratch that, I've been working so hard at potty training Evan. He totally gets it. He can do it. He chooses not to. It's just a battle now... I'm not worried, I know he'll get it. Just not sure when.

Our boy Jack is blowing us away more and more each day. His language is developing so much, and while an outsider may not be able to understand him we certainly are. He needs a lot of work on his articulation. However, we'll take whatever we can get. It was less than a year ago that I had come to peace with the idea of Jack not talking. I knew that if he never spoke, it would be ok. He seemed so well adjusted, he communicated with us so well otherwise, I didn't see a huge reason to push the issue. Now though, now that I know that he has the capability, I say GO JACK! You can totally do it... It's going to take awhile, but it's well worth it to hear your sweet little voice. Like Evan, Jack too is reading. He is still enjoying books like Dr. Seuss, and a lot of the Sesame Street Library. Jack is also enthralled with classical music. He will stop whatever he is doing and listen to the music that is playing... Typically we will hear him humming that piece later on in the day if it was something that he favored. He really seems to have a true knack for remembering what he hears... Jack is still going to school 5 days a week and LOVES it. He adores his teachers, and loves seeing familiar faces in the halls. They have been working on potty training Jack at school and they have had SO much more luck than I have! He stays dry nearly all day long, and pees in the potty a few times a day! Once he gets home it's all downhill! I don't know what they're doing there at the school, but I keep telling his aide that I'm going to kidnap her :) I think she'd be just fine here in our house...

As for the rest of the kiddos... They're awesome. They're just growing... They're really the three amigos. The three redheads... As much as they fight, if I try to separate them it's even worse. The girls are devastated to be apart from one another, always wanting to know where the other one is. William loves to have alone time, but after about 10 minutes wants to know when his sisters will be home, or when they'll wake from their nap. He's really too cute... William is really doing great in school, he's a little confused about next year and why the boys will be in school and he won't be. I'm hoping that after the year starts up, we'll settle into a routine and he won't even wonder... He seems very prepared for Kindergarten. His preschool has helped to lay a lot of the groundwork for that. He can write his name, knows all his ABC's and can recognize them, knows all his numbers, can count to 100, knows all of his shapes and colors, he started on basic math last month and really seems to love it, and is proficient on the computer! I'm really proud of him and how far he's come over the past year. 

Ok, I think thats enough talk for now. I need to get outside and play!